Archive | June, 2016

Depression. :(

2 Jun

Do you ever feel like there’s so little free time, and so much to do? and how can we even do it if we’re so exhausted and depressed in our precious hours we count until our job starts again. So much time stolen, so little time left, so much less energy, no joy. 
Only endless expectations that go unfulfilled, fleeting glances that go unmet, eyes cast downwards in shame and fear. Talk to them, or suffer in silence. but your voice is stolen, your a statue, stealing glances. How dare you take the time of people who have it all figured out, why would they stop to help you? Look at how great they are, dancing and playing, how quickly they go about creating dreams. How can they welcome you, why would they, they have their games and their arms are thrown around each other already. 
So retreat into silence, into music to escape, or notes to figure it out. Retreat into the cage of your own mind. All you do is lay around , and endlessly think, how inward focused and selfish, how small your world is, how diminished your spirit. Your potential is spent, your passions strewn on the floor, never to be shared.
How long before life grinds you down, before you lose what little things you have, your youthful spirit fades, your confidence is beaten from you, you lose your health? And what then, you will be a shell of a man in a world that is dying, who your meek voice can do nothing to save. Lost floating on a puddle of your own petty miseries, wasting away in your bed while others suffer much worse fates, burning or starving. Voiceless, selfish, and alone, in a world of wolves and iron cruelty.